We’ve witnessed the same story time and time again, where someone cheats, and their infidelity leads to ruined relationships and families. But what happens when the illicit couple tries to make their relationship legitimate?
People can’t help but question the decision-making of the Other Person. If they were willing to cheat with you, why wouldn’t they cheat on you eventually? It’s the classic case of “how you get them is how you lose them.”
The Vanderpump Rules saga continues, now with Scandoval in the spotlight. New details continue to emerge, including reports that Tom Sandoval and Rachel Leviss were caught on camera kissing by the end of the season. Pictures have surfaced of Sandoval entering her apartment, and the pair sporting matching lightning bolt necklaces.
Rumors suggest that they are in love and want to be together.
Although I empathize with Ariana Madix, Sandoval’s partner of nine years, who has reportedly fled to Mexico to enjoy her time without Google alerts, the possibility that Sandoval and Leviss are a real couple has the internet screaming in unison.
It’s not the first time Sandoval has found himself in this situation, and as history has shown, how you get them is often how you lose them.
Raquel, the newly introduced member of the Vanderpump Rules cast, was a fan of the show before joining. She was privy to Tom Sandoval’s denial of cheating on Kristen Doute with Ariana during Season 2, only to later admit to the affair during the reunion.
Despite this, Sandoval and Ariana remained a stable couple for almost a decade until he publicly apologized on social media for his alleged affair with Raquel, a relationship viewers have yet to see the aftermath of on the show.
As a long-time fan of Vanderpump Rules, I was not surprised by Sandoval’s infidelity, but the details did shock me.
Despite always giving off secondhand cringe, Sandoval had convinced me that he was an exception to the rule and had grown up and evolved in his late 30s or early 40s. I had failed to predict the cheating, leaving me questioning my instincts.
As the daughter of a psychologist, I pride myself on being observant, so I consulted with experts on the psychology of cheaters and the chances that any new relationships resulting from affairs can last.
I had to provide the experts with a detailed account of the scandal and both Sandoval and Raquel’s public relationship history to synthesize a psychological stance on whether they have any hope of making it as a couple. As a result, I learned that even though infidelity is complicated, it is not impossible for a relationship born from it to survive.
Is the saying “Once a cheater, always a cheater” always true?
There are different degrees of cheating, according to licensed marriage and family therapist Deborah Vinall. A one-time incident may be forgivable, but repeated patterns of infidelity indicate deeper issues that may be harder to address.
These patterns can be rooted in insecurity or a need for external validation, and may stem from childhood experiences that led to an avoidant attachment style.
While it’s possible for a cheater to change their behavior, it requires self-awareness and a willingness to do the work. Without that, the cycle is likely to continue.
Vinall suggests that it’s difficult to predict future behavior, but if a cheater hasn’t demonstrated real change, it’s best to assume they will repeat their actions. In the case of Tom Sandoval, his apology didn’t show much introspection or a desire to change, while Raquel’s statement seemed to have more genuine recognition of wrongdoing.
In the end, the decision to stay in a relationship after infidelity is a personal one that only the people involved can make.
However, it’s important to approach the situation with a clear understanding of the behavior and motivations behind the cheating.
If someone has cheated once and is willing to do the work to repair the relationship, there may be hope for healing.
However, if there is a pattern of serial cheating, it’s important to recognize that this behavior is likely to continue unless the individual takes real steps to address the root causes of their actions.
Ultimately, the best way to protect yourself from repeated infidelity is to cultivate a strong sense of self-worth and set clear boundaries in your relationships.
Cheating is never the fault of the victim, but by taking control of your own actions and decisions, you can empower yourself to make the best choices for your own well-being.
WHAT WAS RAQUEL’S MOTIVE FOR HER ACTIONS?
The recent cheating scandal involving Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss has raised questions about the psychology of infidelity.
Despite Raquel’s past experience of being cheated on, she engaged in an affair with a friend’s long-term partner, causing confusion among fans.
Experts suggest that people with unmet emotional needs from childhood may seek fulfillment in unhealthy relationships, making it difficult to recognize red flags.
Some may be attracted to partners who offer a sense of worthiness or familiarity with the traits of parental figures. Others may confuse the adrenaline rush of danger with love or infatuation.
While it’s unclear why Sandoval cheated, it’s possible that it’s a pathological issue.
As for Raquel, she may need to figure out the root of her need for emotional validation and learn to meet that need herself instead of relying on others. Ultimately, while we can empathize with their trauma, their behavior is still unacceptable when it hurts others.
It’s important to acknowledge that cheating is a complex issue that can have deep roots in a person’s past experiences and emotional needs. While it’s never acceptable to betray someone’s trust, it’s also important to understand that there may be more at play than just a lack of self-control or moral character.
By examining the psychology of cheating, we can gain a better understanding of why people make the choices they do and how to prevent similar behavior in the future.
Whether it’s through therapy, self-reflection, or other means of personal growth, it’s possible for individuals to work through their past trauma and develop healthier ways of relating to others.
At the same time, we must also hold people accountable for their actions and the impact they have on others.
Cheating can cause a tremendous amount of pain and damage to relationships, and it’s important for those who engage in it to take responsibility for their choices and work to make amends.
Ultimately, the psychology of cheating is a reminder that we are all complex beings with our own histories, needs, and desires. It’s up to us to navigate these complexities with empathy, self-awareness, and a commitment to treating others with respect and kindness.
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